Remember... when it was cool and not weird (well, not to those who mattered) to say, "Hey guys, let's go take a shower."?

REMEMBER?

stomachache stomachache stomachache stomachache

I feel stressed out beyond belief.

I don't know why August kills me every time but it does. Nothing helps it and I'm just crying and crying over the most random shit. I shouldn't even care, everything about... EVERYTHING is just utterly dumb, but oh my god, I want to be sitting anywhere but in my room right now and it's my only, ONLY choice.

( The fact is that this kind of panicky frustration brings the following thoughts )

I hate being the only one awake when I actually want to be asleep, and I hate that no matter what I try to do, I just make people mad around here. I don't mean to create problems.

My mom walks into my room, watches me play Mariokart 64 for a few seconds, looks around and says, "Emily, you need a life."

Hmph.

I've been trying not to let it, but the feeling of being trapped and cut off and bored is really, really overwhelming at the moment and I don't want to be at home one little bit right now.

Half of my room is in my car now, to be taken to Plymouth tomorrow morning. Vomit. You'll notice it's past four, meaning I just had what can only be classified as a packing awakeover. Danielle helped me carry the heaviest plastic tub full of my stupid stuff ever all the way out to my car and wedge it into the back seat, and for that, she is awesome ( Read more... )

Oh, February, how you mock me!

I hit a high point today, and then a low point. And then I was up, and then I was so down again.

It's very exhausting, but when asked over AIM why February and I are on such bad terms, I sat and thought, and finally was able to express all the frustrations I have with it.

( February is so on the list. )

I've had this feeling lately that I've messed some things up but I'm not exactly aware of when or how or anything. Or if it's in my head.